porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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