New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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