The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
