I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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