Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Houston, we have a squirter
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
