Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
