Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
