dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
