If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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