Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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