the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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