just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
