Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
