She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize