i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
