You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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