i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
