probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize