It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
