The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
