Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
