I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
