As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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