No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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