Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize