I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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