I seem to have left my pride at pride
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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