wakey wakey hands off snakey
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize