so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
