I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
