my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize