We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize