thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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