woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
