They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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