We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
