yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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