I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize