This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
