the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
