I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
