You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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