Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
