I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize