dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
