im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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