ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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