You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
