I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
