Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize