So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
did i walk over a car last night?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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