i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
