Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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