my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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