I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
