C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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