Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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