I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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