but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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