Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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