I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
