good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
