): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
