Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
