but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
