oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
