the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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