respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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