she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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