I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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