i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I want her autograph on my taint
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize